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Thursday, May 14, 2009

On relationships

Expectations are manifestations of the ego that serve only to keep an individual from achieving a higher state of serenity and energetic awareness. It is important to be mindful of your feelings and reasoning behind them.
Recently, a woman asked me why she and her friend started fighting once she was put on the machine. In the past we have gotten similar questions. I address this answer to anyone who has gotten on the machine and noticed a “negative” outcome in terms of an interpersonal relationship.
It is helpful, I have found, to actively question your thoughts. The Ego can misdirect you. I use a capital “e” because this aspect of your being can act almost as an outside entity – and some believe it is. An example of this is the woman who was fighting with her friend. She initially did not feel any negative emotions but, upon seeing her friend angry, gave in to her Ego. By doing this she accepted the emotional “contract” and became angry herself.
It is important when you notice yourself giving into this contract, especially afterwards when you can analyze it more coolly, to acknowledge the point where you agreed to take on the emotion. It might surprise you that you can find a specific point where you went from a neutral emotion to a negative emotion. This is where the Ego has taken over.
As one progresses along this path of eliminating the need for emotional juice, those who give in to the more Ego driven way of life will look more and more foreign; they will be less understandable. This is not something to be nervous about. It is an evolution towards a more efficient way of living. Instead of giving into another person’s drama, an individual on the machine will find themselves more easily focused on what is important to them.
When concerning the other person in the relationship (friend, roommate, partner), the outcome can be one of two ways. The first and most hopeful, is if the other person becomes inspired by the massive increase in energy they are seeing in you, and decides this energy might be something they want to pursue as well. The second possibility is simply if the other person, or their Ego, will decide this new energy in you is a negative. As time passes, this person will find an excuse to end the relationship. These excuses come in many different forms; “You are so distant.” “You don’t understand/care about me.” Sometimes it will be constant emotional pressure (arguing, insulting). Sometimes it can become overly dramatic and they resort to an accusation of extreme activities, or even a possession: “You are in a cult.” “You are a sorcerer!” The important point is that these actions by the other individual are all excuses. They do not want to remove their Ego.

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